It’s been nine months since he bowed out from Channel Four. Now Paul O’Grady is back, on ITV1, for a Friday night primetime show. He talked to TV Choice about Paul O’Grady Live, and what he’s been up to while he’s been away.

Are you excited about the new show, Paul O’Grady Live?
I am, but I hate the title! I just wanted it to be called Paul O’Grady. But Live — as opposed to what? Paul O’Grady Dead? But it’s great, and working live doesn’t worry me at all. And if someone comes on drunk they’d be sent off immediately. I’m not having that, I’d say ‘Sling your ‘ook you’re p***ed.' But even going out after the watershed, I won’t be as risqué as Lily Savage. I’d get away with it as her, but not as myself.

Are there any guests from previous shows that you wouldn’t have back?
I wouldn’t have JR — Larry Hagman. He was terrible, as if him being JR was enough. You’d say, ‘Are you enjoying London?’ and he’d say, ‘Yep.’ ‘How long are you here for?’ ‘Dunno.’ ‘What have you been doing while you are here?’ ‘Not much.’ And you think, ‘You’re a bundle of fun why the bloody hell did you bother coming on?’ It’s an arrogance and I hate it. And the American comedian Jackie Mason was vile. I could feel the claws in me sliding out. In the end he said, ‘I’m going,’ and I thought, ‘I didn’t want you on in the first place!’

Why have you returned to ITV, when you said you’d never work for them again?
I should never say never. But I can’t hold a grudge to save my life. When I left ITV there was a lot of trouble, and I remember one story in the papers saying that my dog Buster belonged to ITV. I went mad. But with Paul O’Grady Live I’m working for my old boss, Kevin Lygo, and he’s smashing. It doesn’t feel strange, because I’m in the same studio, in the same dressing room. I never used to think about being on Channel Four when I did The Paul O’Grady Show, I just thought I was on the telly — the channel was irrelevant. I could have been broadcasting to Russia and wouldn’t know!

While you’ve been offscreen, you’ve written the second volume of your memoirs. Was that fun to do?
It was. In this one I am working for Camden Council with kids homes, and working for an escort agency escorting girls into hotels. All sorts of strange jobs. This book goes up to 1980. I might write one more, but that’s it. Any more and I’d go insane. People ask if it feels cathartic, but it didn’t feel like I was writing about myself as it all feels so long ago. it’s like I am writing about a daft kid really. If I write another book it will go up to the present day. But for me the telly years would be boring. It was going round the clubs that was interesting.

Another notable event this year was you being made a Doctor Of Arts by De Montfort University. Do you feel honoured?
I don’t imagine I’d ever use the title Doctor O’Grady, though I’d love to have it on my passport. But it could be tricky on a plane if they ask if there’s a doctor on board. I’d say ‘I can play a bugle or fire eat but I can’t do CPR!’ I said I wasn’t going to go to the ceremony as you feel a fraud, surrounded by all these students who’ve worked really hard, but I got talked into it. And it was lovely, the students were all cheering. They asked me to give them advice and I said, ‘Here’s a piece of advice that’s served me well through life. Never ever mix cider with Pernod!’ and the place went up. I said, ‘It’s not funny, it’s not nice and it’s messy for the next three days!’

Of course whatever you do workwise, you are always busy, with Olga and the rest of the animals you’ve got at home…
The menagerie is fine, though my pig Jane died. I’ve just got her sister Blanche now, who’s 11. She’s a proper old lady. They were named after the lead characters in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? Jane was the evil pig, and Blanche is the more passive one. We go for walks together. She’s such a sweetheart, and she understands everything you say to her. They are so intelligent, pigs. I’ve got goats, sheep, an owl, chickens, ducks, dogs. But not as many animals as I used to have — it got a bit out of hand for a while. I remember Julian Clary coming round and saying, ‘Oh my God, why have you got a calf in a wheelbarrow next to your stove?’ And I said, ‘It’s just left its mother and it needs to be hand-reared.’ And then he went into the sitting room and there was a Labrador sat on the sofa. But that’s how I like it.

You had a bit of a rant about the people who run TV at our TV Choice Awards a couple of years ago, what was that all about?
Barbara Windsor was behind me. She’d presented me with an award and was kicking my heel saying, ‘Shut up!’ She was saying ‘Oh my gawd!’ But I wasn’t in my right mind when I did that. Do you know why? I’d just had a heart attack. I was full of tablets. I remember going into a shop and telling someone to shut up, telling them off for moaning and I’d never do that. So I think that night I thought, ‘I don’t know how long I am going to be around, I am going to let them have it!’ I felt like the Wicked Fairy at a christening. I got all my anger and my angst about having a heart attack out. I’ve had people come up to me since and say, ‘I’ve been to loads of awards ceremonies and I’ve never seen anything like that!’

By Tricia Martin